Maternity Leave Guilt

There are just 6 weeks left until Baby #3 is scheduled to arrive.  Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I'm assuming it won't actually be 6 more weeks.  It's been an insanely easy pregnancy, but I am noticing that things are getting more challenging (putting shoes on, not having to pee constantly, etc) and the baby's hanging out so far down that her kicks catch me off guard.

This was just a few weeks ago, but I swear I've doubled in size!

At my last prenatal appointment, however, I was a mess.  The holidays, losing my sweet aunt to pancreatic cancer on Christmas Eve, sick kiddos...it just was more than I could handle all at once.  So when I met with the nurse practitioner and asked about maternity leave, my desperation was coming through loud and clear.

Christmas morning--I miss caffeine.

Having her say that I might be able to go on maternity leave at 36, rather than 38 weeks, was such a relief.  Just knowing that it was a possibility made me instantly feel better.  There's a nap in sight?  Oh, thank God!

If you read my first birth story, then you may remember that my first daughter arrived prior to going on maternity leave.  That morning I made my mom the longest and most bizarre shopping list, because I had planned on using the last 2 weeks to get ready.  I don't want that to happen again!

After meeting with the nurse, I started stressing about work.  That's only 3 more weeks.  I've got two months of lesson plans to do, piles of grading I'm behind on, I still don't know who will be teaching my class, and I told the parents I'd stay as long as possible.    My worries about not being ready for the baby have been replaced with pangs of guilt for abandoning my classroom.  It's the difference of 2 weeks, but the way I play it out in my head you'd think I was forcing my students into slave labor.

To add to the guilt, I'm fine.  Exhausted, drowning in to-do lists, and feeling unprepared for this baby...but, physically, I'm fine.  I feel lazy for being so darn tickled at the idea of a few extra weeks to be at home.

Such is the life of a working mama.  I feel bad for working when I should be focusing on the arrival of the baby and taking better care of myself.  I feel equally as bad for wanting to not work anymore and leaving my class for 2 additional weeks.  Just wait until the going back to work guilt sets in!

What's a girl to do?

My 5 Favorite Girl Baby Names

We've got months until the birth of our baby girl, but the pressure is on to name this baby.  We named our first daughter, Georgia, relatively quickly.  It's a family name, but also had a old-fashioned American sound that we loved.  Naming the next baby took a little longer.  We loved Harper's name but difficulty picking a middle name had us doubting ourselves until we met her.  Clementine was the middle name we chose, by the way.

What are we looking for in a name for Baby #3?  It has to be a name.  You have to take her seriously as your college professor.  It can't be too similar or too different from her sisters' names, Georgia & Harper.  It can't be in the Top 20 Most Popular names.

Here are my favorite baby girl names of the moment:

Poppy  Normally, I steer clear of floral names because they sound dainty.  However, Poppy is spunky and free-spirited.  The Golden Poppy is California's state flower, and that makes me love it even more.

Sadie A nickname for Sarah, this name has old-time charm without sounding too much like a porch-sitter.

Harlowe  We can't use this name because of it's closeness to Harper's name, but I love the old Hollywood glamour it resonates.

Hattie We stopped watching the tv show Parenthood because each episode ended up being a bummer. One of the young characters on the show is named Hattie, and it's so unique.  Tori Spelling ended up naming her baby, increasing its popularity.

Penelope  I adore this name, and have ever since the Pinback song.  It's just so darn popular right now that I don't see myself choosing it.

What are your favorite girl names?